Bitchy McBitch Bitch

I'm a bit of an emotional wreck lately. I have a million things to do before I leave in a month, and I don't even know where to begin. My brother's last day of high school is today, and I'm emotional about that. Because he goes to college in the fall. And even though he'll still be at home, it still makes me sad. Because each day is one step closer when he'll move out. Or I'll move out. And we won't live together anymore. And I'm scared that if we don't live together, we'll barely talk or see eachother. And I'm just not so sure I'm ready for something like that. He lives with me now and we barely talk or see eachother because of our conflicting schedules and our crazy social lives.

Bailey is driving me insane. He's a psycho. I love him to death, and he's the cutest dog ever, but he's so much work. Little dogs are so needy and in your face. The only time during the day that I have even the slightest privacy is when I take a shower or take a shit. And that's only because Bailey is absolutely terrified of the bathroom because he thinks I'll give him a bath if he goes in. Yet, me being in there by myself doesn't stop him from waiting outside the door and sniffing under it every five seconds. He follows me everywhere. If I move, he moves with me. It's ridiculous.

I'm still taking him to work with me because I have this ridiculous paranoid thought that if I leave him home, him and Gizmo will get into a huge fight and she'll end up cornering him by the basement stairs and he won't know what to do and he'll end up falling down the stairs and breaking all of his short little stubby puppy legs. I know, I'm insane. But if she were to corner him, that is what will happen. And it's not impossible. Especially because Gizmo terrifies him. She's already cut his nose with her stupid sharp little bitchy cat claws.

I'm just tired. I don't really have any plans this weekend, and I like that. I'm so sick of spending all of my money. And if I'm out with people, that's what we do. We spend my money.

That's another thing. I love Alex. She's so much fun to hang out with. And people think it's so weird that I hang out with her because she's 16, but she's not drama. She's totally chill. And all of my friends have kids. Do you know how boring it is to spend time with your friends and their babies? And I'm not joking, ALL of my friends have kids. Julie has a 6 month year old and another one on the way. Brittany has a one year old. The other Brittany has a one year old. Shell has a three year old. Jen has a 7 month year old. It's just ridiculous. And then all of my other friends have jobs and school and boyfriends, so I only see them a couple times a month. So Alex is a breath of fresh air. She just happens to be young and doesn't understand how hard I work for my money. And that money doesn't grow on trees. But her parents hand her literally everything she wants, like most teens and children these days, so of course she doesn't understand how money isn't so easy to come by. So when we hang out, she always wants to be out and doing things, which I don't have a problem with, but it's usually something that consists of spending money. And she never has any on her, conveniently, so it consists of spending MY money.

And then, when I want to just stay home for a day, she bitches and complains about it like I'm being a bad person. And I know she means well, I hope, but it's just so fucking irritating. And I hope she doesn't mean it this way, but it makes me feel used. And I don't like feeling used. I've been used before and it sucks.

So I HAD money saved. And now I barely have any money saved. And I need to start all over again because I do want to pay my dad back and move out sometime before I'm 30. The good news is it's almost June. Which marks the anniversary of 8 years at my job. Which means I will be going up to 12 dollars an hour. Hooray! Now I'm making only 50 cents less than the technician who's only been working here for 8 months. Sweet justice. haha.

And now this entire post has turned into me bitching.
I need my vacation. Like now. A month is just not close enough.
Fuck.

iPhone Heaven

I'm in it. Jesus Christ on a cracker this phone is badass.

It's iPhone Time

I don't know if you've noticed, but lately, EVERYBODY has the iPhone. Personally, they're a little overrated, but they work amazing. It's a great phone.

So today, I finally have my first phone upgrade through sprint. Which means the $650.00 iPhone now becomes $100.00 for me. And as much as I love my little purple LG Optimus, I must say that the iPhone is sounding quite...tempting :)

So today, after work, I will be going and getting that lovely motherfucker.
And then I'm taking my mom out for a Chinese dinner for her birthday.

Today will be a good day :)

Pricks, Dicks, and Free Food

So, it is official; The chaos is completely over! I say chaos, because that is what the last four days has been. Absolutely terrible.

Just a warning, I'm going to vent my ass off in this post. And most of it will probably be pretty...outspoken. But I deserve it. Because of how civil and proper I am in real life. And the fact that I've had to bite my tongue and mind my manners these past few days. I had to play the good daughter. So this is my blog, and my fingers are ready to do the talking.

As you know, I'm sure, my grandmother passed away on Friday. Don't worry, I'm okay. My grandma's been wanting this for a long time. She wasn't happy being alive, especially after my grandpa died in 1996. Needless to say, I was at peace with this the day I knew it was going to happen. I'm happy for her.

My grandma lived with me for almost 5 years. From when I was 15 until I was 19. Those are tough times for any girl, because we're all super psycho bitches at those ages. So, needless to say, my grandma and I didn't always see eye to eye. We had some pretty nasty fights, but we were also very very close. She was one of my best friends. She knew everything about me and she would always brag to people that she could write a book about me. We stayed up late all the time and had crazy talks about life and her childhood and all kinds of things. She was a great person. She just had a few setbacks.

One of those setbacks being that she liked to talk. And she didn't like to talk about anything positive either.

While she lived with us, she paid my father $400.00 a month. She had her own bedroom with tv and cable. She had her own phone in her room. My father bought the groceries, and when he was done watching the big tv downstairs, he would hand the remote to her. Just keep this in mind for when you read the next few parts.

THIS lovely gentleman is my Uncle Darrel :

Let me tell you all a little something about my Uncle Darrel. Starting with, he's a fucking asshole. He's 53 years old going on a 13 year old girl. If he died tomorrow, the only good thing that could be said about this man is that he played a mean guitar. And that he was really good at spending money he didn't have. He can't hold a job to save his life. He borrowed thousands and thousands of dollars from my grandmother and my father. And anyone else who actually believed that he would someday pay it back. And when he got $12,000.00 back from taxes, instead of paying his debts off, he bought a new laptop, a new guitar, tvs for his kids bedrooms, and other frivolous items that he ended up selling later because he ran out of money and needed to pay his rent. He whines. He complains. And he talks shit like it's a full time fucking job. He's condescending. He's obnoxious. He's rude. He's selfish. And he's extremely ungrateful. He's a fucking fat, pompous prick who thinks his shit doesn't stink and that the whole world owes him something.

When my grandma moved out of our house, she moved with with my Uncle Darrel and his ... lovely...family.
THIS IS HIS ...LOVELY...FAMILY ... :

 The piggy peach to my Uncle Darrel's left is his poor excuse for a wife, Jennifer. The two black girls are Jennifer's from a previous man (obviously). And the little boy is Nathan. That would be Darrel and Jennifer's satan spawn. Literally. The kid is fucking retarded as fuck.








As I was saying, my grandma moved in with them. Into their tiny ass trailer. In their tiny ass trailer, my grandma was giving my uncle roughly about $200.00 a week. And what did she get in return you ask? She got a recliner in the front room to sleep on and a dresser at the end of the hallway. Oh, and Darrel's fancy new television went off at exactly 11 o'clock when he went to bed. Also, she had to provide her own food. And any food that he bought with his or Jennifer's money, was strictly for them. And their kids. Not for grandma.

My grandma lasted about a month there before she decided that she wasn't very happy at all.

Once my grandma moved out, it wasn't long before Darrel couldn't afford his rent any longer. And after coming into some more money and squelching that away as well, they lost their house about 5 months ago.

The first month or so, Darrel lived in his car while Jennifer and the kids stayed at Jennifer's mom's house. Darrel wasn't very welcome there because her parents think he's an asshole. Which he is, so I can't really blame them for that.

Then again, their daughter isn't much better. Because during one of Jennifer's pissy little talks to my grandmother, Jennifer had the nerve to say, "I don't know why Ken doesn't help out. Darrel is sleeping in his car and Ken can't even offer his basement?"

This is Ken :

Ken is my father. My father is a wonderful man. He's hard working. He's intelligent. He owns his own company and he's always been there for his children. He taught us our manners and our ABC's. He's made sure that my brother and I were raised right with good morals and strong beliefs. He's nice and he gets along with everybody. He's funny and brave and he's a man. Like I said before, my dad gave Darrel and Jennifer thousands and thousands of dollars over the past 10 years to help them. And they pissed it all away like it was nothing. My dad employed Darrel at his company TWICE. And both times, Darrel walked out in the middle of the job. Leaving my dad a man short. Of course, my dad forgave him. But let's just say Darrel has run out of chances. So for Jennifer to say that, well that just makes her a super flying thunder cunt.

And if we were to let Darrel stay in our basement, he would probably never leave.

I'm telling you all of this so that I can tell you what happened on Monday night.

On Monday night, I was at Alex and Katie's house. Alex is my dad's sister's son, so he is my cousin. And Katie is his wife. Alex and Katie have also had grandma living with them for the last few years. Alex and Katie have also been letting Darrel sleep on their couch for the past three months.

Actually, let's back up to Sunday for a moment. On Sunday, we had a small barbeque at our house. Most of the family couldn't make it, because it was very short notice, but of course Darrel and Jennifer showed up. Can't pass up free food!! While at my house, Darrel decided to turn to my dad and his girlfriend Barb and say, "I was talking to Alex and Katie about their financial situation. And with mom gone, they really need to slow down on their spending. They eat out too much."

Really? Coming from the homeless bum uncle sleeping on their couch? The homeless bum uncle who eats all of their food and uses their water and watches their cable, but puts NOTHING back into the house? Doesn't pay rent. Doesn't buy groceries. Does NOTHING nice whatsoever. Yes. That makes perfect sense. The married couple, who both have jobs, and have their own place spend their money more unwisely than the homeless uncle mooching off of them. Bravo.

Back to Monday night. I was at Alex and Katie's because we were all sorting through my grandma's stuff. We waited for Darrel to show up as long as we could, but once he was about an hour late, we started without him. He finally showed up, and my dad told me there wasn't much I could do to help, so I went outside and I entertained the kids. There was Nathan (Spawn of the devil) who is 12. There was Lexi, Shane, and Jaysen who are 6, 7, and 8. Lexi, Shane, and Jaysen are my cousin Eric's kids. Eric is Alex's brother.

I played with those kids for about 4 hours. Around 9:40, I was beat. I wanted to go home and go to bed. So I go inside and I say goodbye to all of the adults. I even patted Darrel on the shoulder.

I walk outside and Lexi begged me to stay. She loves me. She's so cute (: And I told her I would stay for 5 more minutes. I'm standing there talking to Eric and I hear my name inside. And it's Darrel talking. So I listen closer and I hear Darrel say, "Mandy was mean to mom. She was disrespectful and rude. Not a nice person at all. She was so mean to mom."

I completely lost it. He waited THIRTY FUCKING SECONDS after I walked out of the fucking door and he's already talking shit. Talking about shit that he knows absofuckinglutely nothing about.

I go inside and I look at him and go, "Excuse me. I'm still here and I can hear everything that you're saying."

The fat coward LOOKS AWAY FROM ME and goes, "Oh, no. I was talking about my mother in law."

For the record, I don't know his mother and law. I've met her ONCE and I said hi to her. That is the only interaction I have ever had with that woman.

So I say to him, "Really Darrel? Your mother in law? You mean the one I've only met once in my entire life? Please, tell everyone here how mean and rude I was to her the one and only time that I've met her. I'm sure we'd all love to hear THAT story." and he says, "Mandy, I don't have to explain myself to you."

So I look at him, and he's still not looking at me. And I lean in very close, and I say as quietly as I can so the kids don't hear me, "Fuck. You."

So needless to say, the memorial and the after party at my mom's family business was a little on the tense side. Darrel only went to the after party for the free food, obviously.

And that's really all I have to say about that. I'm just glad it's over.

Grady's Bar

I imagine you at Grady's Bar. Sitting in the back. The room is smokey, and you're delicately sipping a rum and coke. Grandpa is with you, and Elvis Presley is playing on the jukebox. You're happy, and your world is centered right where it should be. You feel no pain. No sorrow for the loved ones you've left behind. Just you, the music, your bar, and Grandpa.

I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye to you.

Friends

My grandma has been battling many health issues for quite some time now. Obesity, diabetes, and many others. She's been in and out of hospitals and rehab centers for the past 6 years. In the past three years, she usually goes to both about two or three times a year.

My grandma could write a book on me. She knows all of my secrets. She knows everything bad I've ever done in my life. And she's kept a good 95% of it a secret from my dad. At one point in time, she was living with us. And we had our off days, but she was my best friend. I told her everything. We stayed up late and talked. I made her laugh a lot.

We loved watching tv together. We also liked to sit outside on the back patio when it was warm out. Just quietly. Enjoying the company of eachother.

Last night, at her recent rehab center, she went unresponsive and was rushed to the hospital. They worked on her for two hours. She's stabilized now, but it really doesn't look good. I feel so bad for her because she doesn't want to be here. I know she doesn't. She told me. And I understand that. She's so old and she can barely walk and she has terrible health. She knows that it puts a lot on everybody else and she never wanted that. She misses Grandpa Al and she wants to be with him again. I know I'll miss her if she goes, but it's what she wants. She wasn't supposed to be resuscitated. The rehab center had her sign something that was supposed to be translated to helping her if she falls or has a minor heart attack or something. But she was supposed to be DNR. It's what she's wanted for awhile. I don't want her to suffer anymore. If she's still with us at the end of the day, I'll go see her. I don't know what I'll say. I'm not very good at these kinds of things. I do know that, no matter what, whether she's here or there, she'll always be my friend. I love you, Grandma.

The Weather Games

I like warmer weather. It's my favorite kind of weather.

What I DO NOT like is obnoxiously hot weather with high humidity. It's a bit dramatic and entirely not welcome.

My perfect day is about 70/75 degrees. A small breeze. Blue skies and sunshine. It's not too hot to wear pants, but it's not too cold to go swimming. It's perfect. And there are only about 6 days in every year that are exactly like that. The rest are way too hot or way too cold.

Today it is about 82. High humidity. So I'm a bit annoyed. We had to turn on the air conditioning at home and at work. Boo.

But on the plus side, it's getting closer and closer to vacation (: Which means closer to Fife Lake and closer to seeing Jamie and Nate! :D So so excited.

I have  lot of preparing to do!!

Bath Time and Broken Legs

Bath time. Something Bailey does not like. And only tolerates it because the self serve dog wash has a collar restraint. So I really shouldn't use the word tolerate. More like is forced to take it against his will.

He looks like a big rat when he's soaked. I was going to take a picture, but I thought it was sort of silly to bring your phone into a doggy wash.

He doesn't like bath time at all. But he smells good now (:

Also, I'm not taking him up north with me in July. I was going to, but then I realized my whole trip would be me worried about him. And watching him. And caring for him. And picking up his poop. And I don't even know what I would do with him when it came time to go down the river. What? Get him his own tube? I don't think so!

So he'll just have to stay home. Oh, did I mention that he cries at home if I leave his sight for more than 1 minute? No joke. Cries. Howls. Barks. He does not like having me out of his line of vision. I can hardly even go to the bathroom or take a shower without him getting upset.

So far, I've been taking him to work with me. Only because he and Gizmo are not big fans of one another. Also, he's getting fixed this week and once that happens he's going to have to take it easy. The last thing I want to come home to is my dog bleeding all over everything from where his nutsack used to be because my sassy bitch cat decided to take a run at him.

Gizmo is kind of coming around. But she's a bitch. So we'll just have to see how all of that folds out.

Bailey also got his shots yesterday. Surprisingly, it went a lot better than I planned for it to go. They drew blood from his paw first and then wrapped some gauze around it and he limped and hopped around the exam room like they just got done breaking his leg in half. LOL. It was the cutest thing. He's such a ham!

On a happier note, I'm SO SO SO excited to go see Jamie in July! :) I finally get to meet her and Nate! :) That is a very very exciting thing. I seriously can't wait :D

 Bailey also got a big boy baseball bandana from the vet for being a good puppy :)